You Look Mildily Unhappy on that Bike Thing, Emma Watson
You do not look as though you are enjoying that Motorbike as much as you perhaps could. Perhaps that is because it is a moped. I have never liked that word. It sounds stupid. Not that you are stupid for riding, or at least sitting on one.
Have I mentioned how much I like you in bright colours, Emma Watson? You seem to enjoy bright colours also. This is a mutually beneficially arrangement. You are happy, I am happy. Well, I’m not that happy, but hey, you wearing bright colours is certainly helping.
Then again, you look good in most things, Emma Watson. Even on a motorbike. Are you unhappy about the motorbike, because of their poor safety record? Or that most serious motorbike accident’s end in fatalities. You know why that is? Because cars have a crumple zone on the front to protect the driver. On a motorbike, the driver is the crumple zone, to protect the bike. After all, you want to pass that down to your children in your will, right? You can’t have scratches all over it. Lime, works well on blood stains, especially on the leather seating. There is some handy advice, Emma Watson. But still, motorbikes are so damn cool.
Even cooler, since you are lounging about on one.
Actually, I shouldn’t be talking about motorbikes here. That is a moped, which is not pronounced mope-d, as in ‘Campbell was very sad that Emma Watson has a boyfriend who is a late 20’s bricklayer. He moped for hours when he found out.’ No, it is instead pronounced Mo-Ped, as in the rather asinine sentence ‘Even the Amish laughed at Campbell as he rode his Moped. And they were in horse drawn buggies.’
Stupid Amish! Get back to barn raising and working too hard and non-violence and non-sexual stripping in front of Harrison Ford.
I like Witness. It has Danny Glover in it. And Aragorn/Viggo Mortensian as one of the Amish guys. He has about three lines for the whole film. Also, that movie has one of the best scenes in any film, when Harrison Ford beats the crap out of those dickhead tourists who think he is non-violent. He is Harrison Ford. Yo in a whole heap of trouble son. I maintain that no-one punches bad guys quite as hard as Harrison Ford.
There is only one man you ever want to be in this picture and it is none of those five Nazi’s.
Also, the kid in that film, Lukas Haas, also appears all grown up in the Rain Johnson Detective Story, Brick. I highly recommend you watch that film. It is amazing. Lukas plays the mysterious Pin. You can recognise him by the ears.
I would like to watch that film with you, Emma Watson. It would be a lovely film to watch with you. We should not ride a motorbike or a moped to go and see it though. I am sorry. Unless you want to. Then we will.
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