Emma Watson has A Real Twitter
I have previously reported on TNMW that Emma Watson has a Twitter account. Turns out that was complete bollocks, it was simply the most convincing of a number of phoney accounts. Now, I discovered this some time ago, but had not reported on it, perhaps out of laziness, perhaps out of spite, perhaps a little of both. Or maybe a lot of both.
But now we discover that she does in fact, have a Twitter account. A fresh, new, real Twitter account, you guys! And it’s verified this time! It even has the little verified sticker on the corner!
She has been fairly quiet so far, just four tweets since she joined on the 17th of July, but each one is a gem of wisdom that far surpasses my expectations for Emma Watson’s Twitter account (in that I did not expect her to ever actually get one, so anything meets that critrea.)
TWEET THE FIRST
Hi everyone, this is the real me! I won’t be able to tweet often but I just wanted to say hello. Have a great summer, love Emma x
Did you see that? She said love! With a little x at the end! That means she really loves us! And it’s the real her! She said so! Isn’t this just amazing, boys and girls? No? Ok, fine then, moving on.
TWEET THE SECOND
Thank you for all your lovely (and amusing) messages! It’s official: I have the best fans! I’m loving the London sunshine today, Emma x
She said we’re the best! OMG! You guys! Us! We’re the best? Doesn’t that give you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, much the same as cookies and milk, or marijuana? And she’s out in the sun. Don’t let it ruin your lovely porcelain skin, Emma Watson. Make sure you keep wearing that hat you have on in your profile picture.
I don't think that hat is all that Sun Smart, Emma Watson.
TWEET THE THIRD
Hello everyone I wanted to let you know that my new facebook page can now be found at www.facebook.com/emmawatson. Talk soon, Emma x
OMFG! There’s a Facebook page as well? That’s crazy. Now I can directly communicate with Emma in two different forums! Are you excited, Emma Watson? I know I’m excited. Also, talk soon? Ok, but I really don’t want to have to explain how I ended up with your phone number, Emma Watson. I mean, I barely dodged the heat on torturing your driver without actually acknowledging it happened. I mean, ummm, I know nothing about this awful crime.
I know this is just for fan communication, but I would like to take this opportunity to put forth a theory I’ve been working on-that famous people have their own, secret, social networking site. Like, I dunno, Facebook platinum. This is undeniable stupid, but I still can’t shake the thought that everyone who is famous and/or wealthy is living in some secret, way more awesome world than the rest of us. Of course, if that was true, then people like Mickey Rourke and Corey Haim would have sold the knowledge for crack money as soon as they fell from grace. OR maybe they had the knowledge erased from their brains, via some sort of Men In Black style neuraliser device. Ok. That’s awesome.
Btw, Microsoft Word, get with times. Facebook is not two words, fool. Stop living in the past. You’re living in the past, Microsoft Word.
TWEET THE FOURTH
Why oh why did I stay up so late on Twitter and Facebook when I knew I had an early start today? Please send me messages to keep me awake! X
Obligatory: I’d like to do lots of things to keep you awake, Emma Watson.
But you know what this means, kids? She actually sat up reading stuff on Facebook and Twitter. It means we actually have a chance of her reading the thngs we write about her. It means I edge ever closer to going to prison. No, officer, I swear, I have no idea how Emma Watson pictures became my background and screensaver. And please, ignore those locks of hair. And the voodoo doll. And the cardboard cut-out. And the statistically significant amount of hard drive space devoted to Emma Watson pictures. Heheh. Hard drive. You know what else is hard? I should go.
Damn. Twitter is boring.
